Dark forest of thoughts and memories

Like the niggas said never give 100%

I really wish i could “go ghost” as my friends say that i do. I wouldn’t mind Vanishing where I stand. Cause lets face it I’m no one. I don’t see a bright future for myself I don’t even know what I want to do. & on top of all of that my confidence is not existent,my way of thinking and reasoning plants vile and destructive ideas and assumptions  within my head. & last but not least….” I’m just a foolish kid who doesn’t notice  certain things cause you know when I do, I over react and I’m a senuighinxsufdks litjklzbxczdc bitljbckdjcbbut don’t forget” caught  lieing and hiding shit kiddo

-____-

Here we have a knight who despite all wrongs and misunderstandings still holds true to his honor and moral grounds. However what happens when the knight has been through too many unforgiving battles and sights of greed, lust and despair. His shinning armor starts to turn into a dull grey. His honor and moral high ground start to crumble & fade.He questions all the actions and “good deeds” that he has done. The knight in not so shinning armor goes without sleep, thinking and rethinking about what he could have done differently. Until he suddenly changes his armor. It is now as black as the darkest night, his honor is as low as the ground beneath his feet & his morals are as twisted and broken as his shattered dreams.

I have no fucking clue what to write about, I realize I only “come” on my second blog when I feel the need to “write the stress away” or something along those lines. It’s funny how “as” the more time passes the more I find my self within my skull hacking away at my over analytic ”thoughts and assumptions” Knowing full well that they hold the utmost truth. As I “Fade” into this daze of reading between the lines. It is clear to me, that I’ll shall be over run  ”by the darkness of my nightmares”.

It’s really not that hard to see what’s going to happen next within this so called story of mine. Person “A” will start to be more friendly with person “E”   so on and so forth then there will come that certain point where both “A” & “E” find themselves alone, and nature takes it’s course. Sounds like a good fucking ending I shit you not however here is the so called plot twist person “A” already has some one let’s call this someone person “13”, so here’s where it’s gets complicated while person “A” gives into lust and all the basic desires with person “E” what about person “13” my guess is “13” will go around aim less for a bit until, things just don’t seem “correct” so to speak. However “THINGS” have not been “corrrect” for sometime now and we all know where this leads to, “13” ending up alone, with questions being the fool. Sorry but not within this story Let’s say “13” always knew that such a thing as this would happen and prepared for it. Not going to get into the details now but lets head back over to persons “A” & “E” where they are laughing enjoying and being drunk on each others presence…………….on second thought “13” doesn’t care anymore story finsihed.

Sometimes I really fucking wonder. What’s the point of it all, the voice inside my head is NOT my voice but my EGO feeding me lies and delusions. It’s really hard but the EGO always wins, quite sad actually despite what I know is true and just can’t help it. I’m just another SAVAGE human.

sincerely~ Fuck Off

To the day of his death no man can be sure of his courage

As a so called writer, I can understand the meaning and reasoning behind ghost and monsters so to speak. They conduct themselves the way we truly want to act, or I should say imagine doing. That’s what I understand, What I don’t understand are the people in this world, I get the basic vile human nature and the undying kindness that are two-sides of the same face. However why? just this simple question why would someone, anyone deny a person who is trying their utmost best to make another feel  better about themselves and reassure them if given the chance, that not everything may be alright, but with them it will be. Is it a natural defense that us as humans developed over the years out of fear, pain and hatred of letting others know the inner workings of our mind and feelings. Monsters I get it’s humans that blow my mind.